Because of this one small physical handicap, I’ll never be able to play the really fun and interesting places, such as the road houses and places where they check you at the door to see if you have a gun. (And if you don’t, they give you one!) Those places have an atmosphere that cannot be found anywhere else. The smell of yesterday’s smoke and stale beer hangs heavy in the air, but after being there for an hour or so you don’t notice it so much, and besides there are diversions that will take your mind off such minor flaws. The light, or lack of it, is kind to one’s appearance and the general human condition, as everybody looks several years younger than they really are. This also makes it more difficult to see the scales on the “lounge lizards.” This quality is so strong, it can turn pork fat into lean beef. I suppose seeing things in a “better light” is relative. What a nice coming together of social graces and wonderful music! Older patrons should be warned, however, that some of the dance beats are so strong that it could counteract the function of a pace maker. Aside from having a short left thumb, life is good. But there are some things I just don’t get. If any of you are thinking about learning to play the guitar, and are looking forward to many happy years of fun and fulfillment on a tour bus or playing at your local gin mill, first have your left thumb measured to see if you meet the physical requirements. This could save you a lot of time, trouble and heartache down that long, lonesome road. Good luck! |